I've been busy

So it's been a while. I don't say that as an apology, just an acknowledgment. (That's really hard to spell by the way. Acknowledgment. I mean, knowledge by itself is pretty tough. But I'm getting sidetracked.) What I'm more concerned with and quite ashamed of, is how busy I have allowed myself to become. It's all 'good' - Working hard in my classes, learning lots, meeting new people, getting tight with my profs. Dance lessons, Thursdays at The Hall. Breakaway on Tuesday if I can get away from studio. Church Sunday if I'm not too tired. But now you may begin to see the issue. I'm free falling into one of the deadliest traps. I've allowed myself to become so busy - embraced it in fact - that I've shut out and turned into the cold my God and Savior. No, I can't read my bible this morning. I've got a prelim due by 11! What would I do if I don't get a 4.0??

I heard a quote from some D-now curriculum I taught from a week ago. A guitarist said in an interview if he neglected to practice a few days, he could notice a difference. If he failed to practice regularly for a few weeks, his audience could notice. You can quickly equate that to the daily walk and conversation with Jesus. Ladies and Gentlemen, I don't know what's beyond the audience-noticing phase, but I'm rapidly approaching it, and I don't want to find out. I see broken and hurting people around me everyday, but I never seem to summon the urge to actually care and DO something.

I have a friend, my best friend in fact, here at A&M. He's grown in spiritual leaps and bounds, just in the last year alone. He's doing things for his faith, for Jesus, even becoming chaplain for his battalion. Unit. Whatever it is. He's plugged in with some strong believers in the Corps, and they're DOING things. They see guys all around hurting or struggling, and he'll go up and just talk to them, pray for them. My friend has almost become alienating to people because of the intensity of his faith. I want that. I want to be so crazy for my Savior that I will risk anything. Relationships, friends, grades, a career. Instead I can't find the time to crack open my bible.

I've had a lot happen to me in the last year. For one, I'm studying architecture at Texas A&M. Turns out I'm actually pretty good at it, pulled off all A's last semester, and this semester should be the same. I don't say that to brag, just setting the stage. I've become friends with some awesome people. I've caught the attention of some of the major professors and faculty in the college. Academically things couldn't be going better. That can happen when you ditch everything for a career. Outside of architecture though, things blur. I've lost contact with some of my closest friends, people that keep me tied to reality and accountability. I don't seek out close friendships with guys. Sometimes I blame it on the fact that they're too busy chasing girls to care about friendship, but that's only a half truth. In the rare circumstances when someone shares their life or troubles with me, all I can muster is a 'that sucks', offer my sympathies, and move on. When did I become so uncaring, forgetting the restoration given to me, and the gift I have to tell other people about?

My 'love life' is somewhat dismal, but yet one somewhat bright spot. Earlier this year I took a chance and dove for a girl, decided 'what the heck' and pursued her. It was a half-hearted attempt though and poorly timed, now I've had my heart half broken yet again. For any of you that know me, you know that's 1.5 breaks. On the upside, since then I've met a different girl. Normally I would count that a good thing, She seems pretty amazing, even though I barely know her. I don't want to make the same mistake though - being selfish, only pursuing what I want. This is where the bright spot comes. The realization hit me, if I want to have any chance, if I want to pursue her at all, develop a friendship and relationship, I'm going to have to be a stronger christian than I've ever been before. I have no right to attempt to win her heart if mine isn't in the right place. Perhaps it's for the wrong reason, the wrong impetus. But this girl that I barely know has grabbed my attention, and just that thought may be enough to turn me back to the one who truly loves me, and who knows exactly what He has planned for me. I've wandered far - not into a deep mire of sin, but something worse, being lukewarm. I don't want that. Everything inside me screams this is the wrong direction.

College can be the worst influence on a person, causing them to forsake all their morals and beliefs they had before. Or, it can be the greatest catalyst to ever hit them, causing radical change in their life and those around them. In between, in the lukewarm, isn't a permanent state. You end up going down one road or the other. I know which road I want. I want to be a valiant warrior for Christ, fighting dragons, Being Wild at Heart, all for my King. This is my stake in the ground. This will be my turning point. Mediocrity is no longer an option.

A verse I read a little while ago spoke to me. It may not make sense in light of the above, but hopefully I can explain it a bit. Psalms 17:15 says 'As for me, I shall behold your face in righteousness; when I awake, I shall be satisfied with your likeness.' That verse spoke to me and convicted me, because I haven't been satisfied. I've been seeking the treasure of this world and completely ignoring the treasures of the one above. I'm living for the temporal, not the eternal. Who cares what happens to me in this life, it's a moment, just a dot. What really matters is how I use my time for God's glory. That's the real goal. It's time to become Wild at Heart.

'I'm done, I'm through. Ignoring you, now it's true. I'm kneeling at the cross of your grace.'

Turning Spokes

Howdy everyone,
I apologize it's been so long since I've been on here. Life got crazy and I dropped the blog. Anyway, hopefully I'll have time eventually to get back to it. I'm currently at Texas A&M working on an architecture degree. As part of my class assignments, I have a new blog where I'm posting design ideas, models, and sketches where you can keep up with my latest doings if you so choose. There won't be any encouraging wild at heart style posts over there unfortunately, but hopefully I'll be back over here soon and back at it. The other blog url is turningspokes.blogspot.com
Join if you wish, but if not I will see you back over here in the future. God bless, and gig 'em.
-Brian

Answered prayers

So several things have happened lately that have been direct answer to prayers, and I wanted to take the time to share them with y'all. One of the first was where I experienced being the answer to someone else's prayer. Talk about cool, I haven't had that happen real often in a direct way... So I've been attending Austin Community College, I'm taking 7 hours of math to get that knocked out of the way before I get to A&M. I was a little depressed and lonely the first few weeks because I didn't know anyone there, and hadn't really met anyone I was interested in getting to know. I have an hour break in between my two classes, so usually I'd just head out to my truck and do homework or something during that break time. One week though I saw a poster on the wall for the Campus Crusade for Christ group. Turned out they met during that break time. I decided to check it out, but the following week I had homework that really needed to be done, so I had to wait a second week. Finally Wednesday rolled around, but when the time came for the meeting, I hesitated because I still had some homework to do. In the end I decided to give it a shot, and after some dedicated searching on campus I finally found the group. There were only three people there that day, and because it's a relatively new group they were discussing how to organize future meetings, and trying to set goals and create purpose statements. This is their second semester to have the group, so they told me a bit about the previous semester's meetings. They described that at one point someone attended that had a guitar and he occasionally lead a praise and worship time, but he had left at the end of the semester and they no longer had a guitar player. They continued on in their narrative for a bit, then one of them stopped, and seemed to backtrack a bit. She turned to me and said "oh yeah, so you don't just happen to play guitar do you?" I smiled and told her that yes, in fact I do play a little guitar. They asked me if I would be willing to lead a praise and worship session for their group in the future and I agreed. Then the leader of the group exclaimed, 'This is awesome! You know, just last night we were praying that God would send someone to us that could lead a worship time!" Wow. That kinda floored me. Ok, so it's kinda a minor thing but it was really a direct answer to their prayers. The other incredible thing was that I almost didn't go that day, in fact I had already gone out to my truck to do homework, but changed my mind and turned back around. God is AWESOME! So far we have had two more meetings and public praise and worship times. Who knows how many people have been reached just by hearing us sing and praise God. I never would have started something like that myself, it took them asking me. And they couldn't do it as none of them played instruments. When I look back, it's an incredible reminder to me that God really hears every prayer we have, whether large or small. I would appreciate y'all's prayers that God uses our meetings and worship time to bring people to him and that we would be a blessing to the ACC campus.

Well I said prayers because there are still more praises! For just under a year I have been interning with an architect in Austin without compensation, just to gain experience in the field. The firm was struggling last fall to stay afloat because all building projects were on hold. Business has started to pick back up however, and they are slowly becoming busier. As I said, up till now I have been working on a volunteer basis, however last week I received an E-mail from my boss asking if I could commit to 10 hours a week if I were paid hourly. YOU BET!! Wow, another direct answer to a prayer of mine and my mother's. It's a temporary position relating to one job they have that is pretty big, but if business continues to pick up it could become more permanent or gain more hours. Even if it doesn't though, it's a huge blessing! Thank you God!!

Hold onto your seat though, because that's not it!! Haha, I can hardly believe the last few weeks. So awesome... Ok so I got a letter in the mail Friday from A&M. Turns out I have been given a small academic scholarship for my first year! I don't know how prevalent these scholarships are, but I've heard they can be difficult, so it's another huge blessing and answer!! Wow.

After writing all the above and rejoicing I want to make another point though... Yeah ok the 'deep' stuff. I guess click the x now if you just want to stick with the emotional high... :-P
I was actually convicted this morning when I was sharing the above stories with one of the moms at church. She rejoiced and praised God with me, then made the comment 'Isn't it just so cool when God answers 'yes' to our prayers?' Wham! Suddenly it hit me that the way I look at prayer is a little skewed. The title to this post is a little misleading based on the content. In the stories above I outlined areas where God has blessed my prayers with 'yes' answers, and I have rejoiced... but do I rejoice when he says 'no' or 'wait'? Do I even count those as answers? Yeah, I've heard this lesson before too, but has it really taken hold for you? Unfortunately I have to confess that it's just head knowledge for me. I know I should rejoice with any answer I receive, but I'm too selfish. I was seriously convicted this morning that the attitude I have been approaching prayer with has been wrong. It's a blessing for God to give any answer; the fact that he cares about someone so small, selfish, and dirty as myself is an amazing miracle. The next time I say 'not my will but yours' I want to say it with conviction. By God's grace, I want to really mean it.
Amidst all the joy of these 'yes' answers, I have been frustrated with the answers to other prayers. I have prayed for direction in finding my future spouse so many times I'm sure God thinks I'm a broken record by now. Consistently though I can see his answer is 'wait.' 'Be patient.' 'You are not ready yet.' I keep asking 'Why?' and he points me right back to scripture and how I need to grow and trust in him now. Instead of rejoicing in that answer, I have become frustrated and despondent. Is God listening? "I'd REALLY like a wife God. Seriously. I think I'm ready!!" Each time God responds the same way, and I ignore it or get angry. Who am I to be angry about the answer he gave me? I should be rejoicing at his wisdom for me and the path he has prepared for my feet!! Today I'm committing myself to rejoice in what God says to me. His way is wiser than mine, and his holiness commands my worship and reverence. So the above is another blessing that I would like you to celebrate with me. GOD CARES ABOUT ME!! And boy does it feel safe. He knows who my spouse will be, and it will happen, in his time. Thank you God for guiding my path, even when I stumble or stray.

Age integration

Below is one of the essays I wrote for entrance to A&M. Because it was a formal essay, it doesn't have the same tone or style that my other posts have, but hopefully you can gain something from it. A friend that helped review it before I sent it in last fall requested that I post it online, so here it is.

What is our most significant emotional need?  Some may consider physical affection important, yet others would suggest family commitment. I propose that the most vital emotional need is for others to hear and understand us as individuals. In particular, younger children thrive when others take the time to genuinely listen and empathize with their feelings. Unfortunately our society encourages age segregation which especially hinders young adults from stepping outside their comfort zone to engage in relationships with the younger generation.  The long term impact of older youth failing to build meaningful relationships with children is a deterrent to mentoring. Furthermore, since the younger generation fails to receive an encouraging model, they perpetuate the negligent example when they become young adults. I challenge my generation to recognize the distractions and traps which hinder us from seeking friendships with children and discover the extraordinary value of hearing and understanding them as individuals.

One trap of our culture, age segregation, is directly encouraged through how our society structures education, extracurricular activities, and even religious organizations. For example, most school districts organize their campuses by separating grade groups. Despite appropriate benefits in separating a high school campus from an elementary campus, this separation results in high school students having limited interaction with younger students. Although service projects involving tutoring and mentoring encourage communication between older and younger students, the vast majority of the school day is spent with peers. One might assume that relationships would naturally develop between teenagers and children, given the variety of extracurricular activities available. However, closer examination of some of these activities such as sports and scout clubs illustrates similar age segregation. Considering the busy after-school life of the average family, little time is left for pursuing quality relationships among different ages within the family. Furthermore, a family has little hope of finding quality time together within church or religious settings since most of these organizations employ age segregation as well. Overall, the structure of institutions within our society often discourages the typical young adult from seeking relationships with younger people.

Fortunately, some extracurricular groups recognize the weaknesses of age segregated activities and conduct meetings with a goal of integrating older and younger youth for the purpose of mentoring. Personally, I have experienced the benefits of this type of group as the activities coordinator for a father-son program, ALERT Cadets. As an ALERT leader, I developed several friendships with boys from eight to twelve years old.  From these friendships, I discerned how important it is for a boy to build relationships with young men who are positive role models.  Fathers in the program often shared how meaningful it was for their sons to discover that I valued diligence, honesty, and service. One key way to combat the impact of age segregation involves young adults participating in programs structured to integrate older and younger youth.

As my peers consider age integrated programs, one pitfall must be avoided. I challenge every young adult to examine his motive for participation. I have personally experienced the difference between a volunteer who genuinely seeks friendships with children, and one who engages simply to spend more time with fellow volunteers. I remember the hurt I felt when volunteers in a church club chose to ignore me outside the meeting. However, I continue to benefit from the relationship a young man sought to develop with me as he led one of the small groups. James always made a priority of visiting with me regardless of the situation. As a leader who personally invested in our lives, James had the desire to present lessons in a practical and influential way. Today, I am often motivated to genuinely relate to younger children because of his example.

Compounding the problem of age segregation, our culture's increased use of personal electronics creates distractions that frequently reduce availability for meaningful interaction. Ironically, the devices designed to improve communication often replace significant interaction with pointless babble. A recent study of Twitter demonstrated that forty percent of updates are useless statements such as, "I'm eating a sandwich now." What happened to the significance of face-to-face conversation? Picture the mainstream adolescent busy listening to his iPod, texting his friend, and surfing the net – usually all at once. Because over half of communication is non-verbal, this excessive electronic use limits sensitivity to those near him who desire to be heard and understood.

Young adults who choose to step outside their comfort zone and invest time in the younger generation by seeking genuine relationships with them will benefit from the blessing of friendships and learn valuable skills. Because I have spent time playing games and visiting with children of various ages in our church, I appreciate several friendships I would have otherwise missed if I had gravitated to only associating with my peers. By organizing games for the children, I have developed leadership skills such as resolving conflicts and encouraging teamwork.  A young friend of mine was inspired to develop his own lawn maintenance business as a result of meaningful conversations we have enjoyed. I continue to refine my skills when he approaches me with questions about my landscaping business that prompt me to learn as well.  Clearly, remarkable opportunities await those who seek friendships outside their peer group.

My generation can reverse the trend of neglecting younger individuals.  The challenge requires sacrificing time with our peers to discern the need of the younger generation for mentors. These mentors must be willing to go beyond the obligations of a typical service project and develop lasting friendships. By recognizing the subtle traps in society that discourage meaningful communication beyond our age group, we can realize the life-long influence of relationships with younger people.

Marketing tactics

This post is a little random, but bear with me. I have been reading the 'new' book (It's been out for a while... dunno how long) by John Eldridge, 'Fathered by God' - previously published as 'The Way of the Wild at Heart'. In it he expands on concepts from 'Wild at Heart' and outlines in more detail the path a man takes to go from a boy to a mighty man of God. The basic path that each man must take consists of phases - the Cowboy phase, Warrior phase, Lover, King, then Sage... give or take. The cowboy phase is when a young man seeks adventure and learns from the adventure. The warrior stage still involves the adventure, but it has a more defined purpose now, and it is when the man realizes he must fight for the truth and what is right- that's how God created him. I haven't made it to the other three stages in the book, but the lover doesn't necessarily have to do with a woman, though it certainly can involve one. Rather it's more of a time when the man realizes the beauty of creation, and the 'pen mightier than sword' concept. He's still a warrior, but understands in greater depth how to accomplish new challenges... Picture David and his Psalms- those represent David as the lover. The King is when the man has a family and 'domain' of his own, and finally sage is as an older man with wisdom to offer the young men advancing through the stages... Obviously all these stages overlap and they exhibit themselves in different ways for different men, but the need is there for all men to experience them in one way or another. What does all this have to do with marketing? I thought you'd never ask.

So everyone knows the idea that 'sex sells'. Basically you want to sell a product, take some pictures of the product with a beautiful person (I say person, because men and women are used to sell products with the same tactic in mind) and it will sell. The reasons it will sell are because either: a.) People subconsciously think that by having that product it will make them look like the person advertising it, or b.) They believe they will attract people who look like the person advertising the product. Follow me so far? So yes, this tactic works on both men and women, but my theory is that much of it is directed at women. What? Yeah ok so the ads with half-naked women advertising bud light are obviously directed at men, but walk into the women's section of the mall, or even just the makeup counter. All the ads send the message "You could be beautiful like this if you used this product". Or, "want guys to notice you... try this." (Sidenote here, go listen to 'Beautiful You' by Jonny Diaz. Awesome song that's dead on.) Still wondering what all this has to do with my first paragraph? Yeah, sorry, I'm getting there. There's just a lot of stuff to talk about you know?

So that tactic is used the strongest against women, because it is speaking to the desire women have (a godly desire by the way) to look and feel beautiful. Guys for the most part don't have that desire. Sex is used to sell to them in the sense that 'if you use this product, these kinds of girls will like you'. Instead of a desire to feel beautiful, guys want to know if they have what it takes. Do they have what it takes to conquer this adventure, to win that girl, to be a leader, to stand for what's right, to be a man? I think the vast majority of marketing at men is directed at this question, and pretends to offer the solution. The pictures say "If you buy these combat boots, you will be tough and bold like this guy here". "These cargo pants will make you more adventurous, if you only wear them you'll be able to climb any peak or make it through any mess". "Buy this backpack and you too will be man enough to handle this". "This tool will let you solve any problem... you could build the empire state building with this bad boy". "Want to make it to the top of the food chain in your company? This shirt will show your coworkers that you're the professional, and you have what it takes to go to the top." "This gun will make you the crack-shot ninja you know you can be - uber tough guy". "Wear these sunglasses and everyone will know you don't mess around and can take anything". Ok, so most of you are laughing at this point, and I don't blame you. But look around at the ads... they aren't really saying 'You could look like this, they're saying you could accomplish this and be successful, tough, and adventurous. Y'all have probably already realized this, but I just saw it on such a deep level today I had to share. My warning should be obvious at this point (and is directed as much at me as anyone) Beware of trying to answer your questions about yourself by looking to the world and what it offers. God knows you have what it takes, he will test and prove it to you, and he will direct your path to be the Man of God you were meant to be. Clothes, gear, and other accessories are cool and (hopefully) functional in your adventures. But when you look to those items to provide the adventure or to become more adventurous, you've got it all backwards.

Thanks for sticking through to the end, hopefully I made sense. By the way, if any of you guys want some adventure, look me up! Let's go kayak some waterfalls and climb some 5.11 pitches. Let me make a trip to the store first though, I'll be ready for anything when I have that...

Warren Barfield's 'Love is Not a Fight' guitar tabs

So when I was working on the Brandon Heath tab, I was reminded of a song I hadn't heard in a while, Love Is Not a Fight, by Warren Barfield. It's featured at the end of the movie 'Fireproof' as the credits are rolling. I had some more time today to work with it, and utilizing some videos of him playing it live, I think I have come up with a reasonable version.


Enjoy!


'Love is Not a Fight' Tab

Tabs to Brandon Heath's 'Love Never Fails'

I have really enjoyed listening to Brandon Heath's new single, 'Love Never Fails'. The other day I sat down and figured out the tabs (mostly) to the song. There are a few minor differences, or places where improvisation on your part would be appropriate, but it should point you in the right direction. Below is a link... Enjoy!

Easy to read .txt version:
Love Never Fails TXT

Printer-Friendly PDF:
Love Never Fails PDF