Sunday, March 7, 2010

Answered prayers

So several things have happened lately that have been direct answer to prayers, and I wanted to take the time to share them with y'all. One of the first was where I experienced being the answer to someone else's prayer. Talk about cool, I haven't had that happen real often in a direct way... So I've been attending Austin Community College, I'm taking 7 hours of math to get that knocked out of the way before I get to A&M. I was a little depressed and lonely the first few weeks because I didn't know anyone there, and hadn't really met anyone I was interested in getting to know. I have an hour break in between my two classes, so usually I'd just head out to my truck and do homework or something during that break time. One week though I saw a poster on the wall for the Campus Crusade for Christ group. Turned out they met during that break time. I decided to check it out, but the following week I had homework that really needed to be done, so I had to wait a second week. Finally Wednesday rolled around, but when the time came for the meeting, I hesitated because I still had some homework to do. In the end I decided to give it a shot, and after some dedicated searching on campus I finally found the group. There were only three people there that day, and because it's a relatively new group they were discussing how to organize future meetings, and trying to set goals and create purpose statements. This is their second semester to have the group, so they told me a bit about the previous semester's meetings. They described that at one point someone attended that had a guitar and he occasionally lead a praise and worship time, but he had left at the end of the semester and they no longer had a guitar player. They continued on in their narrative for a bit, then one of them stopped, and seemed to backtrack a bit. She turned to me and said "oh yeah, so you don't just happen to play guitar do you?" I smiled and told her that yes, in fact I do play a little guitar. They asked me if I would be willing to lead a praise and worship session for their group in the future and I agreed. Then the leader of the group exclaimed, 'This is awesome! You know, just last night we were praying that God would send someone to us that could lead a worship time!" Wow. That kinda floored me. Ok, so it's kinda a minor thing but it was really a direct answer to their prayers. The other incredible thing was that I almost didn't go that day, in fact I had already gone out to my truck to do homework, but changed my mind and turned back around. God is AWESOME! So far we have had two more meetings and public praise and worship times. Who knows how many people have been reached just by hearing us sing and praise God. I never would have started something like that myself, it took them asking me. And they couldn't do it as none of them played instruments. When I look back, it's an incredible reminder to me that God really hears every prayer we have, whether large or small. I would appreciate y'all's prayers that God uses our meetings and worship time to bring people to him and that we would be a blessing to the ACC campus.

Well I said prayers because there are still more praises! For just under a year I have been interning with an architect in Austin without compensation, just to gain experience in the field. The firm was struggling last fall to stay afloat because all building projects were on hold. Business has started to pick back up however, and they are slowly becoming busier. As I said, up till now I have been working on a volunteer basis, however last week I received an E-mail from my boss asking if I could commit to 10 hours a week if I were paid hourly. YOU BET!! Wow, another direct answer to a prayer of mine and my mother's. It's a temporary position relating to one job they have that is pretty big, but if business continues to pick up it could become more permanent or gain more hours. Even if it doesn't though, it's a huge blessing! Thank you God!!

Hold onto your seat though, because that's not it!! Haha, I can hardly believe the last few weeks. So awesome... Ok so I got a letter in the mail Friday from A&M. Turns out I have been given a small academic scholarship for my first year! I don't know how prevalent these scholarships are, but I've heard they can be difficult, so it's another huge blessing and answer!! Wow.

After writing all the above and rejoicing I want to make another point though... Yeah ok the 'deep' stuff. I guess click the x now if you just want to stick with the emotional high... :-P
I was actually convicted this morning when I was sharing the above stories with one of the moms at church. She rejoiced and praised God with me, then made the comment 'Isn't it just so cool when God answers 'yes' to our prayers?' Wham! Suddenly it hit me that the way I look at prayer is a little skewed. The title to this post is a little misleading based on the content. In the stories above I outlined areas where God has blessed my prayers with 'yes' answers, and I have rejoiced... but do I rejoice when he says 'no' or 'wait'? Do I even count those as answers? Yeah, I've heard this lesson before too, but has it really taken hold for you? Unfortunately I have to confess that it's just head knowledge for me. I know I should rejoice with any answer I receive, but I'm too selfish. I was seriously convicted this morning that the attitude I have been approaching prayer with has been wrong. It's a blessing for God to give any answer; the fact that he cares about someone so small, selfish, and dirty as myself is an amazing miracle. The next time I say 'not my will but yours' I want to say it with conviction. By God's grace, I want to really mean it.
Amidst all the joy of these 'yes' answers, I have been frustrated with the answers to other prayers. I have prayed for direction in finding my future spouse so many times I'm sure God thinks I'm a broken record by now. Consistently though I can see his answer is 'wait.' 'Be patient.' 'You are not ready yet.' I keep asking 'Why?' and he points me right back to scripture and how I need to grow and trust in him now. Instead of rejoicing in that answer, I have become frustrated and despondent. Is God listening? "I'd REALLY like a wife God. Seriously. I think I'm ready!!" Each time God responds the same way, and I ignore it or get angry. Who am I to be angry about the answer he gave me? I should be rejoicing at his wisdom for me and the path he has prepared for my feet!! Today I'm committing myself to rejoice in what God says to me. His way is wiser than mine, and his holiness commands my worship and reverence. So the above is another blessing that I would like you to celebrate with me. GOD CARES ABOUT ME!! And boy does it feel safe. He knows who my spouse will be, and it will happen, in his time. Thank you God for guiding my path, even when I stumble or stray.